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Living the Lesbian Compound Dream.

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Its clear to me that…
A. I shouldn’t watch so many movies/episodes and
B. I shouldn’t watch shows about Polygamy!

With the new Xmas wall of television, its hard not to wanna just stare at it!  But I’ll be delving deeper into the world of racing cars & running over hookers during the holiday break (new GTA game & new PS3!) to break things up.  I can’t concentrate on that right now. I’m trying to do A LOT these days.  And frankly, I’m very scared with what those elements (killin’ hookers & racing sports cars) would do to my already demented dreams!

We’ve been on a big jag of LOST.  I never watched the show at all because I don’t do 2/3 of a show with 1/3 of commercials.  I wait for it to come out on DVD.  I can’t stand the thought of giving that much of my life to crap head ad men.  Sorry.  Not happenin’.  I haven’t watched television since Nashville.  At ALL. :D  I’ve accomplished more towards my goals, and gained more skills than ever before.  But I digress.

I started watching LOST because there’s TONS of them all free to stream on Netflix PS3 streaming (its like giant YouTube sometimes with our internet connection, but who cares, none of them are really hot so it doesn’t matter that you can’t see their face because its a giant pixelated blob).  I’ve also been watching Big Love on DVD and have almost started to convince myself that I could handle two or three wives.  Maybe if I get an even better job, I could handle THREE!  But I would not buy them all separate houses–no way.

I don’t know, there’s something really intriguing about Big Love — its not that great, none of the wives are even that hot.  I mean Cloe Soveigny is, but not dressed like a mormon!  Thankfully she isn’t wearing anything for the sex scenes.  But the thing that really makes me laugh is how homely & godly they are…sayin’ “shoot and gosh darnit!”…yet having sex with everyone, all over the place.  And the one guy’s wives are bi & elude to having sex with each other!  Hilarious.  And honestly, a side of polygamy that I never thought of.

But I think that I rewrote both of these shows last night in my dream and with a lot more excitement:

I was stranded alright.  But instead of a plane wreck on a deserted island, it was a relationship wreck in the middle of a polygamist compound.  Some guy had been assigned my “wife”.  I guess they don’t allow lesbians to have multiple wives.  This horrible guy just laid claim to my woman.  I was supposed to accept it.  I even had to be in the same room with it.  I was left with the hilariously crazy mother from Big Love.  It was horrible.  I guess it was like a total nightmare to teach me that polygamy doesn’t work for lesbians…at least not on a mormon-like polygamist compound anyway.  But then, there’s no reason why I couldn’t start my own lesbian compound…why, maybe they would all end up calling me “the prophet!”

Anyway, they ended up taking our houses from us, cuz that’s what they do on these compounds apparently.  The “guys” father had just died so the mother started immediately selling off his stuff.  She wanted to sell me something so she drug us back through this big warehouse and in the back was a vintage Toyota RAV-4.  I know, it doesn’t make any fucking sense.  They’ve only been around for 8 years! I had one from the first year!  But it was all cool & looked kinda VW bus like.  But it had this weird place on the outside for a cooler & I thought that was the greatest.  But even better–it had a great big huge radio with tuner dials OUTSIDE of the truck!  This thang was meant for outdoor lesbian compound parties!  A big cooler & radio outside of it!!  I was sold before I was even shown the entire set.  Yeah, it was a 3 parter!!  It also came with a matching cement roller & motorcycle!!  Bwahahaha!  The dyke in me was completely SOLD.  Take my wives…leave me with machinery & random equipment!

So I bought the set & we headed out.  The big huge guy on LOST was driving the cement roller back to the new compound.  Yep, we had all of our shacks MOVED!  We had 3 or 4 shacks moved onto a cement lot surrounded by giant chain link fencing in the middle of an apartment building that looked like the one Mariela & I lived in…in Phoenix.  Kind of a adobe shanty town motel with too much teal accent–where poor people actually live permanently instead of just one night.  (It was the craziest visual!  I wish I could paint it.  Perhaps I could recreate it in photoshop!)

Now we had 3 or 4 shacks there…placed perfectly on that lot of land–that, in real life, they told us was a tennis court that our apartment faced, when we signed the lease.  Then we “moved in” (from the backseat of the Jetta) and it was just a giant lot of rocks!  But you gotta admit, its a pretty good place to have a small lesbian compound of shacks…right in the middle of Phoenix proper…not far from Tempe, where we could go to enjoy the Transgender Scrabble Night every Thursday again.

I’m exhausted.


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